One Hundred Paw Prints
by Belletrist Word Salad
Summary: One hundred slices of life as applied to the world of the Naruto Uzumaki who hails from Mount Oinari. [True Tale- and Tapestry-compliant, all pairing types possible, mature themes scattered throughout. All vignettes posted in numerical rather than chronological order. Dedicated to Duesal Bladesinger. Leitmotif: Life in Technicolor ii by Coldplay]
1. i Introduction

i. Introduction

Song: "Theme of Laura" — Silent Hill 2 soundtrack

-:-

"Hey, Akanō! Guess what!"

"I _despise_ guessing games."

"I'm gonna be a ninja!"

"Oh, goodie."

"Dad's gonna take me to the entrance ceremony tomorrow. And I'll catch up to Big Bro yet!" The little corvid let out a triumphant laugh, oblivious to the One-Head's flat stare.

"Yes. Well, forgive me for not _leaping_ for joy. Bad back, you know." The enormous Raijū slumped to the ground, his back to his Keshinriki once again. "Due to a certain albatross around my neck."

First, a sprained ankle. Now _this_? The little boy pouted. "You big meanie!"

But whatever dampness this exchange had on Sasuke Uchiha's spirit evaporated the next day. Not only had Dad taken him to the Ninja Academy's entrance ceremony, but the Sandaime Gyokkage himself had given a benediction to all the kids!

Could this day get any better?

"Hello, young man." When Sasuke turned to the speaker, he saw none other than the Sandaime himself. Remembering his manners, the young Uchiha quickly bowed. "H-hello, Lord Sandaime." He couldn't believe it! The Gyokkage was talking to him! To _him_! Wait 'til Itachi heard about this!

"What is your name, young one?"

"Sasuke. Sasuke Uchiha."

The elder's eyes brightened considerably. "'Sasuke'! A wonderful name, indeed! Fortuitous, even." He leaned down ever so slightly, as if to tell Sasuke something meant only for him. "I'll let you in on a little secret: that was also my father's name." The Sandaime Gyokkage winked.

"Wow! Really?"

"Oh, yes. In his time, my father was a splendid shinobi. In fact, there's an Inari shrine named after him in Kamakura for that very reason."

Sasuke blushed sheepishly. Who'd've thought his namesake had that kind of history behind it?

"Well, Sasuke, I pray you become a splendid ninja as well, and do your name proud."

The little Uchiha smiled. "Okay!"

"Oh, yeah? Well, _my_ name's gonna blow your mind!"

Sasuke opened his eyes, finding himself face-to-face with a wildly grinning blond boy with whisker-marked cheeks and eyes that rivalled the sky. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki, the ultimate whirlpool, baby! My name will be bigger than everyone else's, including the old man's old man, because my whirlpool of awesomeness will suck theirs in! And don't you forget it!"

Incomprehension lined the little corvid's face, for he knew not what to make of this crazy boy. At the same time, however, he couldn't bring himself to look away…

"Speaking of things that spin," said the Gyokkage, his earlier affability gone, "I better not see or hear of any of such painted on this building, or your _head_ will be spinning."

Naruto gave an _eep!_ and just as quickly as he'd appeared, he sped off, leaving the elder to sigh. "My ward," the Sandaime said, clearly embarrassed and wishing for a change in subject. "I worry about him sometimes." He sighed, then turned in the direction in which said ward left. "Well, patience and endurance never come free, even for us shinobi."

Fugaku, ever a man of few words, simply _hmm_-ed his acknowledgement before he and his son took their leave.

The rest of the day passed quickly for Sasuke, at the end of which the young Uchiha felt very confident about his shinobi future. With so much going for him, it would only be a matter of time before he caught up with Big Bro now!

But that night, when Sasuke Uchiha went to bed, Mr. Roary in his arms, his last thought was not about catching up to his brother or even his goal of joining the police force. Instead, he went to bed thinking of that blue-eyed blonde who'd made such a brash introduction.

And it wouldn't be the last time he would do so.

-:-

Sasuke and Fugaku Uchiha, Hiruzen and Sasuke Sarutobi, Naruto Uzumaki © Masashi Kishimoto  
Akanō, Gyokkage title © me


	2. iv Rivalry

iv. Rivalry

Song: "Perfect Day" — (Lou Reed)

-:-

Once upon a midday sunny, Kurama the Nine-Tailed Fox gazed lovingly upon the most beautiful thing he had ever seen: himself. Under normal circumstances, such a feat would've been nigh-impossible without creating a fuss, wrecked buildings and all. But today, the Kitsune had found a way around that: shrinking himself to a normal size. With a prominent rock amidst such a limpid pool, how could he not take the opportunity to behold his beauty?

And truly, he needed no beholder's eye other than his own. A graceful form bearing nine magnificent Tails; a pelt of the purest white; vivid red markings that came alive; a pearl like the cherry on top; a pulchritude that would never age into oblivion. Truly, he was the Fairest One of All, flower and serpent all in one*. Oh, but that fringe _could_ use a little primping… From atop the crag, Kurama leaned in. Just a little closer…

…before something pushed him from behind, sending him into the water below.

Seconds later and with much angry spluttering, the Fox broke through the water's surface. How _dare_ someone shatter his reflective moment! Oh, when he got his paws on them…!

"Hello, _Narcissus_…"

_Ugh_. That dyadic chorus, that serpentine coda… "It's _you_."

"You" was a winged tawny creature with the foreparts of a maned lioness, the hind legs and extra Head of a goat, and a cobra-Headed tail. Lying recumbent on the crag, her smug expression was unanimous among all three Heads, down to the gleam of their lavender eyes. Such was the frame of Muneyasu the Three-Headed Chimera, the only eldritch abomination who would have the utter gall of ruining his fairness while calling herself the "Perfect Creature"!

Three-Headed Chimera? More like Three-Headed _Mishmash_!

Thoroughly miffed, Kurama huffed and held his head high as he flounced out of the water. Anger could wait. Right now, he had more important things to worry about. Like the fact that his fur was _sopping_! "You should be more careful, my dear," the Kitsune heard once he was ashore. "In this land where I came to be, people say the man who bore the name of Narcissus drowned when he tried to embrace his own reflection. _He paid for his vanity_."

"Is that right?" the Fox deadpanned before shaking the water from his fur. "Well, I'm not human, so I needn't worry about drowning."

"True. But now…_you're a Nine-Tailed Drowned Rat_."

Drowned rat? _Drowned rat?!_ Kurama swished his Tails. Turned around. Growled. "I'll show _you_ 'drowned rat'!"

The Chimera took to the sky, laughing as she dodged the Fox's attack. Kurama always _was_ so easy—and fun!—to frazzle. For all his prattle of being the Fairest One of All, he certainly had a fragile ego if his touchiness concerning his fur was anything to go by. Whatever. Served him right for always doubting her perfection and calling her "Mishmash".

On the chase continued, the roar of flames and tripartite feminine laughter ringing through the air. Then, a deep masculine accompaniment. Yes, Kurama could not forget the gaucheness of Muneyasu's earlier behavior, but he could never stay mad at her for long. Given the right circumstances, her cheekiness could be endearing. Nonetheless, he wasn't letting her slip away!

They were running now, having tired of aerial thrills, and the Nine-Tailed Fox closed in on his Three-Headed quarry, wrapping his Tails around her limbs in a vulpine embrace. She in turn coiled her cobra Head around his neck in an embrace of her own. Neither meant the other too much harm, but what fun would this be without the thrill of the chase?

Kurama inched his way over until he was on top of the Chimera, eliciting giggles and moans from her as he licked and nipped the nexus between her lion and goat Heads. In reciprocation, Muneyasu's cobra Head tickled Kurama's face with its tongue before engulfing an ear in its maw. Mirthful sounds redoubling, the Chimera turned herself until she was on her back, her goat Head adjusting itself so as not to get crushed. Pulling against Caudal binds, she cupped the Fox's face with her forepaws, pulling him in for a kiss as he grinded against the nexus between her goat legs. On and on the coitus went, the Two-Backed Beast forming and moving with a choral accompaniment of ecstatic moans, before ending with a satisfied coda of vulpine, leonine, and hircine, topped with a serpentine codetta.

Spent, the Fox recalled his Tails before moving off the splayed and supine Chimera. He wandered to the nearby shore, inspecting his reflection for the second time that day. "Ah, damn. Now my fur's messed up. _Again_!"

Feminine chuckling reached his ears, followed by soft padding and cloven steps. "How about another bath, _my dear_…?" The paw was on the back of his neck, a suggestion.

"Not gonna happen, darling." Kurama flounced away, flipping his Tails in the other's face as he saved himself from another plunge.

"Where are you going?" Muneyasu inquired when the Nine-Tailed vulpine showed no sign or intent of returning.

"Somewhere I can appreciate my beauty in peace."

A bathetic threefold sigh filled the air. "And so Narcissus leaves his Echo. _Just don't become a flower_†."

Kurama scoffed, then swished his Tails in a parting wave.

Liaisons like this were typical for them—short, sweet, and full of banter and glorious hate-fucking—and neither would have it any other way. There was rivalry between them, but it was a rivalry with benefits.

-:-

***Flower and Serpent:** referencing Macbeth Act I, Scene v, in which Lady Macbeth tells her husband to "Look like th' innocent flower, / But be the serpent under 't" while trying to convince him to murder King Duncan

†**Becoming a flower:** In Greek mythology, Narcissus the man was the origin of narcissus the flower. The how is what is varied; in Metamorphoses, Ovid claims that the flowers grew from the man after he pined for his reflection, while in Coron's Narrations, the flowers grew from the man's blood after he committed suicide. Considering Kurama's egotism and his transformative powers, there's no way he isn't a Beastly Narcissus! It's also a good callback, ne?

Kurama (name, rudimentary form) © Masashi Kishimoto  
Muneyasu, Kurama's pilot!concept, this story © me


	3. xlii Start

xlii. Start

Song: "Kyrie" — Death Note soundtrack

-:-

Toneri Ōtsutsuki had never given much thought to much of anything; not that there was anything to give thought to. He was an Ōtsutsuki, a scion of the great clan that ruled Mount Hōrai and the eponymous land below it, over the lowly mortals who populated it. What more need he dwell upon? Everything was as it should be!

But on a day like any other…everything would change.

There was a tree at the top of Mount Hōrai, a tree that the Ōtsutsuki meditated around. Legends abounded about this tree, chief among them that it was originally a battlefield-borne _jubokko_* that snagged hapless beings in its branches and devoured them until a wise man happened by and sacrificed himself to the tree's bloodthirstiness, turning it into the magnificent specimen later christened the Shinju, God Tree. For this reason and a few others, the Ōtsutsuki encircled the arboreal wonder with a _shimenawa_and forbade anyone, including their own, from eating its fruit.

Of course, that never stopped anyone—Toneri included—from glancing up at the tree and its forbidden fruit; from near-salivating as they imagined plucking the fruit, biting into it, tasting it as its sweet juices ran down their chins; from inspiring† and being inspired by the chthonic yet sweet aroma wafting from the white racemes garlanding the branches.

The tree was especially tempting to the children, who always dared each other to breach the sacred rope and touch the great tree. But even they would only get so far, flinching before skin could even touch the streamer-bestrewn twine.

Whenever the adults' watchful eyes couldn't be evaded, the children would also whisper to each other stories of what cataclysm(s) might result from eating the Forbidden Fruit. Momoshiki especially reveled in the possibilities: the sky falling upon the Land of Hōrai. The sky and the ocean switching positions. Celestial bodies obscured by eternal darkness. A great quake splitting all of Hōrai. The possibilities were endless.

So when Kaguya, the Ōtsutsuki princess, did the unthinkable, Mount Hōrai and everything upon it seemed to pause, even the stunned hearts of its inhabitants. Kaguya…Kaguya had broken the sacred taboo, had eaten the Forbidden Fruit! What would become of them now?! What awaited them now?!

Their answer came when more energy pulsated from the tree and a true marvel manifested itself. Out of the tree, a white behemoth emerged, a winged chimerical monstrosity with horns growing out of its chest and flanks, a triad of rubylike baubles crowned by each corneous pair, and tenfold antlered heads and barbed tails. The creature opened its eyes, twentyfold rubies incarnadine, and set them upon the princess, pulling back its lips and exposing multitudinous ivories.

"Well, well, well," spoke the beast in a voice that resounded in the souls of everyone present. "This is intriguing. Certainly more interesting than that garden-variety existence of a kodama. Tedious. _Very_ tedious. Many thanks, little one."

"What's your name?"

"My name?" This seemed to give the colossus pause. "I think the closest I have to a name is what they called my tree, the Shinju."

Princess Kaguya's brow furrowed, and she shook her head. "No. No, that name won't do. You may have come from the Shinju, but you're not the Shinju itself. You need a different name."

After some time, the Ōtsutsuki princess perked up. "Harafu!" she proclaimed, pointing at the great beast. "That will be your name!"

"'Harafu'…" the monster repeated, tasting the word as Kaguya had tasted the Forbidden Fruit.

"It means 'surpassing', 'powerful'," the princess elaborated. "And as the spirit of the God Tree, you're definitely both."

"'Harafu'…" the monster repeated again, now savoring the word upon his decuple tongues.

The newly-christened Harafu lowered his heads to the princess's level, an action that elicited a collective gasp from the Ōtsutsuki.

"And _your_ name, little one?"

"Kaguya. Kaguya Ōtsutsuki," she replied with all the precociousness a child could possess.

"Kaguya Ōtsutsuki…"

The tenderness with which it stroked the princess's face, the look in the monster's eyes when he savored Kaguya's name as intensely as he had his own… Toneri didn't know how, but he knew that that gesture and that look would chill his blood for the rest of his life.

After the marvel of the Beast of the God Tree's awakening, life went on as normal for the Ōtsutsuki, with one great exception: Princess Kaguya had taken to spending all her time with the creature she had awoken. It was quite surreal, watching the girl converse with the beast about everything under the sky for hours on end as if they had been lifelong friends.

She would even play with him, scurrying all over the beast as if he were some living playground, and the said beast not minding one whit, smiling tenfold at the little girl's whimsy. She would even spend nights with the creature, sleeping within the enclosure provided by his leonine forelegs, a gesture of trust that none of the Ōtsutsuki could even fathom.

The adults of the clan, relieved as they were that they weren't devoured by the monster or casualties of cataclysm, gossiped their concerns about their princess spending so much time with the creature. How was she to lead them if she forgot their own existence? Though he never said it out loud, Toneri shared similar sentiments. Even before the great beast's awakening, Kaguya had never been one for playing with the others, preferring to keep to herself and let her eyes glaze over as she drifted into some wonderland. Whenever anyone snapped her out of it, the princess would glare at them and flounce away.

That had always irked Toneri a great deal. So what if Kaguya was the clan's princess? What was so special about her thoughts that she couldn't share them with her kin? Why was he—or any of their clan besides Momoshiki and his toady Kinshiki—unworthy of her thoughts? And of course, the Kodama was the only one who didn't have to address Princess Kaguya with her title or even her name. The Little Moon Bunny, it called her… The mere thought made Toneri's skin crawl.

Princess Kaguya's father, Lord Tarine, certainly didn't help matters…especially not after his daughter started learning about what the Beast of the God Tree called "chakra". Once she learned the chants and hand signs, she performed wonders akin to the cataclysms they so feared; obscuring the sky in darkness, raining fire, turning their tea into strange substances and making insects crawl out of their dumplings… Lord Tarine saw this and more as a sign that his daughter was a living goddess and that they should be grateful that proof of their superiority over the lowly mortals below was cemented. While the Ōtsutsuki assented to curb their lord's wrath, they couldn't help but wonder if it was true that their lord had been addled by Lady Izayoi's death…

Toneri certainly thought so, especially when Lord Tarine had a palanquin carved for the princess and paraded her, along with the Beast and the rest of the Ōtsutsuki, down Mount Hōrai, past the lesser peaks of Fuji, Atsuta, and Kumano, and around the continent of Hōrai. What other explanation could there be for letting Kaguya ride the palanquin in such a precarious position on the Beast's chest, for making the whole clan leave Mount Hōrai—for who knew how long!—for the mere sake of playing retinue? Didn't the princess have enough pomp and circumstance as it was, especially when people started worshiping her as the Rabbit Goddess?!

After years of parading Princess Kaguya around the Land of Mugwort and Goosefoot, the Ōtsutsuki and the Beast of the God Tree finally returned to their alpine abode, and for a time, everything slipped back into Tarine's uniformity. But then, five men of relatively high standing for mortals expressed their desire to be the Rabbit Goddess's consort. Lord Tarine reacted exactly how his clan expected. Who were these men that thought themselves worthy of their goddess, his daughter?! So livid was their lord that he swore their heads would be mounted on branches of the God Tree.

Princess Kaguya, however, did something that shocked even her father: she granted those men an audience with her. Whispers reverberated throughout the Ōtsutsuki once again, this time questioning their princess's sanity. What was she thinking, letting these mortals entertain the notion of possible consortion with her? What kind of game was she playing?

A scavenger hunt, apparently…and one fraught with peril at that. For each man, she assigned a very specific and hard-to-obtain item, among them a branch from the God Tree itself. Toneri remembered well the man's scream when he laid eyes on the God Tree's Beast, and felt a twinge of sympathy; that thing was terrifying to everyone but Kaguya.

That man, however, proved the luckiest one. Two other men, the ones assigned the fire-rat robe and the swallow's cowrie, died horribly; and the final two, the ones assigned the Buddha's begging bowl and the dragon's pearl, died just as horribly at the Rabbit Goddess's hands when they attempted to deceive her. But the true horror set in when Kaguya laid their corpses before the Beast…and smirked when the creature devoured their flesh, leaving only the bones. What Kaguya did with those bones, Toneri didn't want to know, although he had his suspicions when she served her family mochi soon afterward…

After the scavenger hunt proved a fool's errand, Toneri and the Ōtsutsuki thought that that would be the end of it, that their princess would choose someone within her clan to be her consort. But the Beast itself would not let that be the end of the matter. Of its own accord, the Beast descended Mount Hōrai, returning days later with a dragon's pearl, a fire-rat robe, and the swallows' cowrie. Then, it snapped a branch off its Tree and dug out a bejeweled bowl, after which it made a show of presenting these gifts to the princess—even addressing her as "my Rabbit Goddess"!—and bowing before asking, with that decuple knowing smile, "Would thou grant me the most prestigious honor of being thy consort?"

Princess Kaguya, with barely-veiled glee, accepted.

As horrified as the Ōtsutsuki were, no one was as beside themselves as Lord Tarine. Perhaps, after so long of condoning his daughter's actions, this decision of hers to consort with that…thing…awoke something within him. That must have been it, for within a fortnight after the princess's acceptance, Lord Tarine solicited an audience with Toneri, telling him that he and the princess would be betrothed. "She must be made to remember that her divinity is for the benefit of her clan, not just herself," Lord Tarine explained, "and Heaven knows I should've put my foot down a long time ago."

But how to make her appreciate that, that was the question. Princess Kaguya's disdain for her family seemed more pronounced than ever, as if they were any of the mortals below. That _creature_ was the only thing she didn't look upon with such chilling eyes. Old resentment stirred within Toneri once again. What did that _thing_ have that he and the others didn't? What did _it_ do to gain the right to consortion aside from bringing mere trinkets?

Was that really all it took to get between a goddess's bedsheets? Trinkets?! Well, then, he would just have to make his own trinkets, wouldn't he? But _how_?

Within a lunar revolution, an answer came to him. Over the month, he had felt…something…surge within him. Something that he could only explain as making him feel more…capable, not completely helpless. As if heeding an inner voice, Toneri closed his eyes, and concentrated. When he opened his eyes, he saw what could only be his very bones poking out of his arms. Toneri couldn't believe it! The princess had done something similar to skewer the deceitful suitors. Could this mean that he shared the gift that Kaguya had learned from the Beast of the God Tree?

The Ōtsutsuki lad couldn't have been more elated. Before him lay the answer to his dilemma, a way to not only bedazzle Princess Kaguya with any trinket she wanted, but show her that there was someone who could be on par with her, that there was someone besides that monster in whom she could confide.

"A lesson in provoking divine wrath, I presume?"

Harafu's little moon bunny smirked with a slight _humph_ as she spirited the slain of her kin for her Consort to gorge upon. Nonchalantly did she heap them, unrespecting of sex, age, rank, or consanguinity, for none of that mattered. All were guilty of one thing: the hubris of claiming the right to share her gift, a gift she had worked to attain while they simply sat by, coveting what wasn't theirs.

Then the nerve of…whatever-his-name-was, thinking to buy his way to her side by aping Harafu's accomplishment. Hah!

That was the last body Kaguya dumped unceremoniously onto the mound, a man with tousled hair as white as her own and blankly staring eyes like dead ice. Indifferent to the wet munching sounds behind her, the last remaining Ōtsutsuki bent to pick up the "gifts" offered to her seconds before he breathed his last. Made from his bones, eh? Should make some good mochi, then.

Yes, t'was pathetic, that her clan was no better than the moths below—seeking light, only for it to destroy them. The silk of the world was crawling with such pests, and Kaguya knew that tonight was merely the start of sacrifices to be made.

-:-

Hello, Toneri Ōtsutsuki. Goodbye, Toneri Ōtsutsuki. And wow, this took a different direction than I'd expected…

Also, I've added Momoshiki and Kinshiki ^^ Because they deserved it. You know they did... *Kira laugh*

***Jubokko: **in Japanese mythology, this botanical bloodsucker is borne of places where equally sanguinary events transpired. Is it not fitting, then, that the God Tree bearing incarnadine fruit and inhabited by a creature not above bloodshed originate from such a specimen?

†**Inspire**: can also mean "inhale", as can be seen here

Kaguya, Toneri, Kinshiki, and Momoshiki Ōtsutsuki, the Ōtsutsuki clan, the God Tree © Masashi Kishimoto  
Hōrai (land and mountain), Tarine Ōtsutsuki, Harafu, the Five Fantastic Items, this story © me


	4. li Troubling Thoughts

li. Troubling Thoughts

Song: "White Rabbit" — Jefferson Airplane

-:-

There were three indulgences largely forbidden to shinobi: money, whores, and alcohol. Kakashi Hatake, ever the good sensei, had made a point of lecturing his little roughs about these vices upon receiving their latest D-ranked mission: go to the town of Inarimae* and retrieve a bottle of its finest liquor—Blue Mice and Pink Elephants†—for Junji Kuroda, the Chairman of Kamakura's Cultural Advancement Committee.

Of course, for Naruto Uzumaki, this lesson had been wasted on him. With all the shit he pulled as a kid, he was no innocent. Besides, he'd already indulged in that last vice, hence why that old boozehound had chosen _his_ team in the first place. And really, who was Kakashi-sensei to talk with those dirty books of his? (When he pointed this out, the _jōnin_ had simply responded, "Don't ruin this teaching moment for me, Naruto", after which Sasuke had given him an admonishing tap with one of his clan's namesakes. Less painful than the old geezer's stick, but still…!)

So perhaps it was inevitable that the _kogitsune_, after begrudgingly avoiding the clinking of coins and the scents of alcohol and temptation, followed a sweet smoky scent to a quaint little establishment called The Cat House, and accepted the offered sample of "catnip" from the crazy cat lady/decades-too-late _nekomusume_ who ran the joint, Imado Hikone‡, or Nekobaa, as most people called her.

Opium wasn't among the vices, so why not?

-:-

Night passed, during which the _kitsune_ dreamt the dreams of the pipe, and then came the morrow, during which the _kitsune_, owing to the vulpine genetics that simply left him with a pounding head, recounted to his teammates what heffalumps and woozles‖ had danced through his head.

They would come to question why they bade him do so.

"…You named your son 'Bolt'? Seriously?!"

"Yeah. Well, 'Boruto', at least. But yeah, I'm sure it was meant to be the English word 'bolt'. But to think that I hooked up with _Hinata_…" Naruto shook his head. The Hyūga girl was nice enough, and contrary to first appearances, was no pushover, but the _kitsune_ found her pearly eyes really creepy, like they were undressing whoever they laid upon.

The pink-haired girl scoffed. "'Bolt'. Surely even _you_ wouldn't name a kid that…!"

"Damn right I wouldn't! If I ever have a son, he'll be named 'Shinachiku§'! But if you thought 'Bolt' was weird, Sakura-chan, you and Sasuke hooked up and had a daughter named 'Salad'!"

"'_Salad'_?!"

"Well, 'Sarada', but yeah, I'm sure she was meant to be named 'Salad'. She didn't even look like you! She looked more like that psycho fangirl who'd been trailing Sasuke around! Maybe you adopted her…"

As she walked, Sakura stared ahead in stunned silence, not knowing what to make of her teammate's head trip before rounding on said teammate and placing her hands square on the blonde's shoulders, stopping him in his tracks and looking him dead in the eye. "Naruto, do us all a favor, and don't chase anymore dragons; your foxy little mind's already crazy enough without that shit."

Naruto, still rubbing his splitting head, simply nodded.

Once they resumed their walking, Sakura voiced her main thought aloud. "Seriously, who the fuck would name their kid that?!"

Sasuke knew not what to make of this Tsukuyomi-that-wasn't-Tsukuyomi either, but unlike his fellow Keshinriki, he could find one redeemable factor. "Actually, if you think about it, 'Boruto' and 'Sarada' aren't such bad names, given the right characters¶…"

As the Uchiha imparted some linguistic knowledge upon his teammates, his adopted kinsman mulled over his vulpine student's pipe dreams, troubling thoughts abounding. Alternate existences, ninjas in space, masked madmen, gods from machines, happily-ever-afters that were more like happily-_never_-afters…

Yep, opium should definitely be the _Fourth_ Shinobi Vice.

-:-

Seriously, wouldn't opium explain so much?

***Inarimae:** This counterpart of Shukuba Town is named after a city within Tsukuba, Ibaraki. Its name, written as 稲荷前, literally means "Presence of Inari".

†**Blue Mice and Pink Elephants:** Famously mentioned in Jack London's autobiography John Barleycorn, the latter half of this euphemism for a drunken hallucination would later inspire the infamous "Pink Elephants on Parade" in Disney's Dumbo.

‡ **Imado Hikone:** my name for Nekobaa, since that's not so much a name as it is a title. Imado is the name of a town within Tokyo known for the shrine of the same name that supposedly gave rise to the _maneki-neko_ in honor of the folktale "The Old Woman's Cat".

Hikone is the name of a city within Shiga Prefecture known for the castle of the same name and its feline mascot, Hikonyan.

‖ **Heffalumps and Woozles:** First mentioned in Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day as the Hundred Acre Wood equivalents of elephants and weasels respectively, they famously appear in a psychedelic nightmare Pooh has about losing his beloved honey to these "terrible sights". Honey withdrawal, much?

§**Shinashiku:** Around the time that Road to Ninja came out, Kishimoto stated in an interview that should he give Naruto a son, this would be the boy's name since "Menma" had already been used. For reasons one can only guess, this didn't pan out.

¶**Boruto and Sarada:** Yes. I, in my nerdhood, have looked up kanji that could make up these names in attempts to stomach the greatest 700-related controversy since The 700 Club.

For those as morbidly curious as I was, here's what Sasuke was talking about:

Boruto = boru 瀑流 "rushing current" + to 門 "gate" = "Gate of the Rushing Current"

Sarada = sara 娑羅 "Sal tree" + da 田 "field" = "Field of Sal Trees"

all characters, Boruto, Shinachiku, and Sarada (names) © Masashi Kishimoto

Inarimae, Imado Hikone and Junji (names) © me


	5. lxv A Moment in Time

lxv. A Moment in Time

Song: "Maternal Heart" — Silent Hill 3 soundtrack

-:-

There was a loud boom outside, and Hagoromo Ōtsutsuki awoke with a start. What was going on? Were the mortals attacking? The young lad quickly dressed, then ran outside to the source of the commotion. There, in front of the God Tree where his ever-recumbent father laid, his mother, Kaguya Ōtsutsuki, stood at the peak of Mount Hōrai, her arms raised in a familiar display of witchery.

Hagoromo heaved a sigh of relief. So it was just another of his mother's "demonstrations". Relief gave way to exasperation. What was she demonstrating _now_? Last time, it had been raining fireballs, and the time before that—

A bright flash and thunderous crash sent Hagoromo running to Harafu, nestling within the enclosure of his sire's forelegs. Looking up, he saw blue sky peek through the God Tree's branches, only to crack with blinding lightning and shatter into deafening thunder.

Hagoromo huddled against his father's fur. So _that_ was today's demonstration: lightning out of the blue.

"Enjoying the spectacle, my little mooncalf?"

The Ōtsutsuki boy dared open an eye, taking in decuple upside-down grins that would have made any other child soil themselves.

Cringing against another firmamental jolt, Hagoromo crawled to look over Harafu's paws. "As much as one _could_ enjoy this kind of spectacle." Truth be told, he didn't see the point of these phenomena. Yeah, they were cool and everything, but what did they have to do with maintaining peace?

The storm quieted down as the Rabbit Goddess of Mount Hōrai lowered her arms, her thaumaturgy at an end. Feeling brave, the Ōtsutsuki boy slunk out from behind the Kodama's paws and trekked over to his mother.

She looked down at him, her expression holding a measure of amusement. "Ah, my little raiment. Did your weaver awake you?"

"I think you did, my little moon bunny. And that awakening brought him to great startlement…and wonderment."

Hagoromo suppressed a groan. Did his father _have_ to do that to him? "I just don't understand, Mother. What do things like lightning and fireballs have to do with maintaining peace? Doesn't it just scare people?"

Kaguya smiled, but the gleam in her eyes belied it, unsettling her little raiment as she placed her hand between his horns. "Oh, my little Hagoromo. It's quite simple: the moths below us are hard learners who require a hard master. And sometimes, fear is the best motivator for the likes of them." She turned back to the edge of Mount Hōrai's promontory, her face as stony as the mountain's. "But there will always be those who don't appreciate what I do for this world."

Kaguya stayed silent a while, as if to let her words sink in. Hagoromo, for his part, was still uncomprehending. All he knew was that when his mother did these demonstrations and talked like that, she really did seem like the Demon the mortals secretly blasphemed her as. And if she really was the Demon, what did that say about him?

Suddenly, the Ōtsutsuki boy found himself being gathered in his mother's arms and placed upon her back, arms draping over her shoulders. She sighted him out the corner of her eye, amused expression returned. "Do not worry yourself over that now, Hagoromo." She turned her gaze back to the Land below, the Land that shared its name with the mountain that pinnacled it. "For now, just adorn yourself to me, my little raiment, and everything will become clear one day. I will make this world a better place, and you will be instrumental to that."

Cheered by his weaver's words, the Rabbit Goddess's little raiment hugged himself against her, fitting himself even more to her frame. Kaguya's smirk deepened. Hagoromo would be a credit to her name yet. But the little raiment, whose eyes were closed in reassurance, was unseeing of this, as well as the Kodama's tenfold all-knowing grin. Thus, in his blissful ignorance, Hagoromo Ōtsutsuki drifted back to sleep, having taken in a moment in time where Kaguya was neither the Demon nor even the Rabbit Goddess of Mount Hōrai; a moment in time when she was just…Mother.

-:-

Figured I might as well use a 100 Theme to elaborate on my version of Hagoromo's childhood. Which is more than Kishi ever did for his...

Also, Mother of the Year, anyone?

Kaguya and Hagoromo Ōtsutsuki © Masashi Kishimoto  
Mount Hōrai, Harafu © me


	6. lxxii Pretense

lxxii. Pretense

Song: "Funeral March for Queen Mary" — A Clockwork Orange soundtrack

-:-

As fluidly as he had entered, Harafu the Ten-Headed-and-Ten-Tailed Kodama reemerged from the waters surrounding the Land of Hōrai. No gasp of breath, no emptying the ears of water, no heed of the rivulets sluicing down his Beastly frame…or the blood that flowed with it.

Why would he, when none of it was his own?

Retrieving the Dragon's Pearl had given the Kodama more trouble than he had expected; the fire rats and swallows had been more receptive of his courtesy, relinquishing the Robe and Cowrie with little fuss. But the Dragon King and his court had been so rude, so unspeakably ugly in their discourtesy, that Harafu had no choice but to take the pearl by force.

The Kodama couldn't help but tsk. How very rube-like, for one who called himself king…

The Beast of the God Tree lowered three of his Heads to the shore, gingerly placing the items within them upon the sand so as to take inventory of what he had retrieved thus far. Good, good. Along with the Pearl, there was still the Robe of the Fire Rat, neatly folded, and the Swallows' Cowrie, luminescent in the pearly moonlight; they had not been lost in the ensuing battle against the Dragon King and his forces.

Inventory taken, Harafu regathered the items into a triad of thrice-lined maws and set off for Mount Hōrai, a slaked and sated grin tenfold upon his decuple faces.

Anything for his little moon bunny.

-:-

After his deft landing upon Mount Hōrai's peak, Harafu wasted no time in digging at the roots of the tree that had once enclosed him. He had a hunch that the fourth item, the Stone Begging Bowl of the Buddha, was beneath this tree, as certain people down below had believed. And lo and behold…

Once the bowl had been cleaned and polished of the encrusted dirt, all that was left was a branch of the God Tree, and in (and with) a snap, that too was acquired.

Sensing that he was being watched, Harafu's heads turned, locking twentyfold eyes upon the jade orbs of the would-be recipient of these fantastic items. With a tenfold smile, he straightened himself up and approached his awakener with the same pomp and circumstance that he had lent to her parade around the Land of Mugwort and Goosefoot. Wordlessly yet loudly did the Kodama's actions speak when he placed at the feet of the Ōtsutsuki princess the impossible made possible before he bowed to her, much to the surprise of the princess and her kin.

"My Rabbit Goddess," spoke the creature with assumed deference, "Wouldst thou grant me the most prestigious honor of being thy Consort?"

He had his eyes closed to her, but Harafu knew what his little moon bunny's answer would be. Theirs was a relationship that barely needed words, and he knew that Kaguya was pleased with the lengths to which he had gone to satisfy her; that in her eyes, this act was but another confirmation of the all-surpassing qualities that she had seen in him from the moment she awoke him.

Pretense or no.

-:-

Kaguya Ōtsutsuki, the God Tree © Masashi Kishimoto  
Harafu, the Five Fantastic Items, Hōrai (land and mountain), this story © me


	7. lxxiii Patience

lxxiii. Patience

Song: "The Day of Night" — Silent Hill 2 soundtrack

-:-

Lying recumbent beside the bole divine that had once enclosed him, Harafu the Ten-Headed and Ten-Tailed Kodama gazed at a sight always pleasing to his multitudinous orbs incarnadine: the Moon at her full, surrounded by stars reverent, all lending radiance to an otherwise all-consuming blackness. Nights like this had always held special significance for the Beast of the God Tree, for they evoked the imagery of his awakener's name.

But for the past lunar revolutions, the plenilune had held another type of significance.

Feeling a certain Leporine presence joining his own, Harafu broke out of his musings, taking in the changes wrought upon his little moon bunny. Months ago, on a vesper just like this, the Beast of the God Tree intertwined his vine with that of the Rabbit Goddess, implanting his seed within his little lunar lagomorph. Since then, her belly had nurtured that seed, swelling into a bountiful ripeness that refused to be obscured even by her silken garments. Harafu couldn't help but smile to himself. Full of life in the most literal sense of the phrase, Kaguya was beautiful to the Kodama, beautiful in a way he couldn't explain. But that beauty would only last for so long, and it was evident that his little moon bunny wanted to hasten that end. Harafu couldn't imagine why; couldn't Kaguya wait just a little bit longer?

Either way, the time of fruition would soon be at hand, Harafu knew. But when? _When?_

When. For the past several months, that question had spun the wheels of Kaguya Ōtsutsuki's mind as furiously as _it_ had spun her loom. Heaven knew she could only vent so much through her wonders, and damned if she didn't do everything she could think of to hasten its materialization! Pacing around the God Tree for hours on end, clad solely in a _hitoe_ and no undergarments…only to have her expectations dashed when its frantic kicks and squirms continued even after she collapsed, exhausted, against her Consort.

"All good things to those who wait," Harafu would softly admonish with a gentle nuzzle. Usually, Kaguya would let her Consort's soothing voice and touch lull her to sleep; but tonight, her patience had run out.

Her thoughts must have belied her weariness, for when Harafu inclined his heads to give her tenfold reassurance, decuple moues appeared.

"My little moon bunny. What is it that troubles you so?"

A sharp inhalation. A clenching of teeth and fists.

A breaking of the dam.

"I just want this to _end_!" That sibilant lament, punctuated by its sudden un-leporine sting, seemed to fuel some fire unextinguished by the moon bunny's exhaustion or tears as she abruptly rose to her feet, causing her Consort to flinch ever so slightly. "'All good things to those who wait', Harafu? Well, it's all well and good for _you_ to say that! _You're_not the one whose loom is spinning out of control! _You're_ not the one who's unraveling!" Kaguya stormed over to the Head nearest her until they were nose to nose. "You've no idea what _it's_ doing to me, do you? When was the last time I've been able to sleep? The last time I've been able to wear my robes, or walk with any sort of grace? And Heaven knows _it_ wants this to end too, what with how it tries to break out of my loom!"

Her rage spent, the parturient princess took a shuddering breath as more tears coursed down her cheeks. "My body aches, Harafu. And not just because of _it_; I ache for you as well." Indeed, it seemed that the more her loom spun and became laden with thread, the more she longed for the weft to her warp. She let out a bitter chuckle. "But why would you want me now? Look at me: _it_ was supposed to edify me as the Rabbit Goddess; but I'm no longer the Rabbit Goddess, am I? Now, I'm a beast of burden. A mountain hag!"

Harafu, who had sat wide-eyed during Kaguya's tirade, found himself pitying the plight of his little moon bunny. He'd taken for granted that she was simply as anxious for meeting their offspring as he was. Who would've thought that what she besought from him all that time ago would've been so travailing for her?

How absentminded, how woolgathering, of him to miss that. What to do, what to do…

In no time, it came to him. In a bygone yet familiar gesture, he minimized himself before padding over to she who had made him her Consort. Once close enough, he nuzzled her, licked the tears off her face, and spoke his piece in that voice that always soothed her. "My dear. Nothing could ever make me want the pleasure of your company any less, especially not something like this." The Head closest to her belly nuzzled it as well, sending a shiver up Kaguya's spine. A soft purr rumbled from that same Head's throat as it tugged ever so slightly at the sash binding Kaguya's _hitoe_ to her. "I pray you: let me see you in your manifest…my Rabbit Goddess."

Somewhat mollified by Harafu addressing her with her epithet rather than her pet name, Kaguya, with still palpable hesitance, answered her Consort's prayer. A subtle rustle of fabric later, there was the moon of the Rabbit Goddess's belly, a once-svelte crescent waxed since into a fruitful gibbous, complete with its own pattern of dark upward-branching striae.

The coevality was not lost on the Kodama.

Rubbing the Head against the bare distended skin, Harafu suspired softly. "My Goddess, look around you. See you not the Moon? Or the God Tree?" Through her drying eyes, Kaguya saw the two sights of which her Consort spoke and, grasping his meaning, smiled for the first time in a long time.

"Truth be told, my little moon bunny, seeing you like this, so ripe with my seed and so consummate with an eventide like this…it has made me pine for you as well." The Kodama nuzzled, nipped, and licked divine flesh in corporeal worship, idolatry most pleasing to his Goddess. "What say you, my Rabbit Goddess? Shall we intertwine again?"

And so, for the first time in months, warp and weft intertwined once again, with Harafu beneath her this time to better take in his Goddess's consummate perfection. Kaguya was especially vocal, panting her Consort's name in a litany of her own as their coital vesper continued. Oh, how she had missed this…!

Suddenly, in the midst of their conjugal evensong, her eyes snapped open, a pained whimper passing through her lips.

Another dam had broken.

-:-

At the end of a trail of amnion leading to a divine tree, a Ten-Headed and Ten-Tailed Beast stood vigil at the side of a genuflecting Goddess clothed with the Moon, whispering sweet nothings to she who had made him her Consort as she labored at her loom, her groans a woeful litany for the end of her travail. That litany would be answered with a soft plop to the ground, followed by a mewling cry.

As the Goddess panted in relief, her Beastly Consort took in the fruit his seed had ripened into, cleansing it of its amniotic coating, then severing the fleshy thread that bound woven to weaver. He smiled tenfold. It—no, _he_—was already a credit to his makers, bearing their whiteness and corneous nubs. Once the Goddess expelled the sac that had constituted her loom, she bade her Consort to show her the fruition of her loom-spinning…and she too was pleased, naming the fruit of her labors after the celestial raiment that would accessorize her.

Patience…had been rewarded.

-:-

This...I don't know what to say. It started as a little something for Mother's Day, focusing on Hagoromo's birth, but considering how lacking Kaguya was in the mothering department, I decided to make it more about how Kags Bunny wanted the spinning of her loom to end, therefore highlighting just how much of an anti-mother she was. I feel like there's more I could do with the ending, but for now, I'll submit it as is; it was just as laborious for me as Hagoromo was laborious to Kaguya, har-har... 

Kaguya and Hagoromo Ōtsutsuki, the God Tree © Masashi Kishimoto  
Harafu, this story © me


	8. lxxxiii Breakfast

lxxxiii. Breakfast

Song: "2:1" — (Elastica)

-:-

Sasuke Uchiha couldn't have been in a worse mood. He couldn't have a mirror handy, but he just _knew_ that that damn Akanō had messed up his plumage. How else to explain the bedclothes clinging to him?

The Humanized corvid growled softly. This was typical of that overgrown thunder wolf: always finding some way to get under his skin. Like, say, shouting "YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT!" at crucial moments when he was still learning how to fly. Oh, he would always cover by scolding him after the crash landing—"Be more careful next time, boy!"—but Sasuke just _knew_ that that big bad wolf enjoyed trolling him, like a gruffer, drier Naruto. Fun times, and all in the name of "easing the boredom of confinement".

So it figured that Akanō would give his Keshinriki static cling. And considering that his plumage was naturally scruffy—if his lineage and family and team portraits were anything to go by—Sasuke could only imagine how zany his hair looked now. But he wouldn't let that make him skip training. _Or breakfast_, he thought as his belly suddenly rumbled.

In the kitchen, his mother was pouring coffee, only to nearly spill it when she took in her younger son's appearance. When Fugaku and Itachi turned to see the cause, they too showed signs of stifled laughter, Fugaku hiding behind his newspaper and Itachi quickly turning back to his own meal.

Sasuke sighed. Could things get any worse?

He got his answer moments later when his parents, no longer able to hide behind sinuses or frogs in the throat, gave into their mirth, Mikoto outright guffawing and Fugaku gruffly tittering. Then Itachi—that smarmy, melanistic peacock!—just had to add insult. "I simply _must_ get in touch with your stylist."

Feathers now ruffled in every sense of the phrase, Sasuke did the unthinkable. Big brother wanted to "get in touch" with his stylist? Here, have one on the house! But his victory quickly became Pyrrhic when the elder Uchiha advanced on him, eyes narrowed, the menace not lessened by his own static disarray.

"Foolish little brother."

After a hairbreadth escape involving his Animal Form, Sasuke made it to his team's training ground, where Naruto and Sakura were already present, their sensei unpunctual once again. He landed deftly and switched to Human Form, glad to be away from the risibility his coiffure had caused his family…only to have his teammates burst into side-splitting peals that brought them to their knees, even as Sakura tried to shush Naruto's pointing and referencing a Marx Brother "gone emo".

_You're enjoying this, aren't you, Wolfie?_

"Bad hair day, Sasuke?"

"Oh, shut up," the corvid grumbled, stalking away from his uncle-of-sorts and past his cachinnating teammates with as much dignity as he could muster. Yes, this was gonna be a long day.

And the worst part? He _still_ hadn't had breakfast.

-:-

After a series of conversations with my dA friend animon about how our favorite emo would experience playing host to a raijū like Akanō, the idea of him giving the boy static cling just clung. So, another 100 Theme. animon, this one's for you.

Sasuke, the Uchiha, Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi © Masashi Kishimoto  
Akanō, Sasuke's static cling © me


	9. lxxxvii Gunshot

lxxxvii. Gunshot

Song: "Dirge" — Death Note soundtrack

-:-

Opening his bedroom door, Junji* Kuroda turned back to his vulpine visitor. "Here's some advice, kid: just forget that training. The only person you can trust is yourself." With that, the washed-up artist shut the door behind him, leaving a confused and concerned Naruto Uzumaki to wonder what the old man's problem was.

Seeing this, Takashi Takano decided to tell him everything that jaded his sensei's worldview. Best friend Saburo's jealousy. His attempt on Kuroda's life. His remorseful creation of Symbol. His suicide.

Depression lined Naruto's face, and Takashi couldn't help but feel guilty. Considering how Kuroda-sensei had just shot down the boy's training so callously...

"Y'know, I'm also training right now, to be an artist like Kuroda-sensei. So in a way, I'm just like you. I wish you luck on your training."

Naruto smiled. Takashi really was a nice guy; certainly nicer than the old boozehound...

"Hey, how about we shake hands, Naruto?"

...but did he have to be so embarrassing? "Huh?"

"Your training is simple." Takashi turned back to Symbol. "I believe this painting represents Saburo's last thoughts about Kuroda-sensei. The branches are wrapped together, like hands. And above that, a new trust is born. I think Saburo wanted to trust and be trusted by Kuroda-sensei again."

Naruto turned to the painting as well. That word again, trust...

"But he took his own life. There are no more chances like this painting. But _you_ have many chances."

"Chances?"

"If you trust me, I will trust you. A handshake, like the name of this painting, is also a symbol of trust." And then, in every sense of the phrase, Takashi reached out to the vulpine. "How about I become your first friend?"

Naruto felt his face heat up. What was this feeling? It felt like excitement, or nervousness, and it wasn't the adrenaline of an upcoming prank or the dread of the ensuing punishment. What _was_ this feeling? Whatever it was, it was embarrassing! Thoroughly abashed, he withdrew like a turtle into its shell.

Takashi knew when to take a hint, and decided instead to offer the blonde his room for the night. No need to rush things, and he had to watch over the painting anyway.

An hour or so later, Takashi heard the shuffle of footsteps behind him. "Naruto, it's—" But instead of the young fox boy he had reached out to, he was staring peripherally at the black silencer of a Beretta. Turning around fully, cold fear gripped him when he saw the one behind the trigger. "You..."

And with a single gunshot fired by Officer Gōri Kyūso†, Takashi Takano, the first human being to ever reach out to Naruto Uzumaki…

…was no more.

-:-

Since ninjas and demons hardly use guns, I decided to make the eighty-seventh 100 Theme about Takashi Takano's final moments in the Naruto pilot. Because as Naruto himself points out, Takashi's kindness touched him and by proxy, Kuroda. R.I.P Takashi.

***Junji:** after Junji Ito, the mangaka of Uzumaki.

†**Gōri Kyūso:** Written as 窮鼠嚙狸, this idiom is translated as "the desperate rat will bite the fox". Such will be the name bestowed upon Matsushima's lackey, as in his first incarnation, he was left nameless. Considering how he bit the fox proverbially when he nicked Naruto's cheek, what more apropos name?

Takashi Takano, Naruto Uzumaki, pilot!Naruto, Kuroda, Officer Gōri Kyūso (character) © Masashi Kishimoto  
this story, Officer Gōri Kyūso (name) © me


	10. xci Answers

xci. Answers

Song: "Lost Carol" — Silent Hill 3 soundtrack

-:-

It had been over a week, and Naruto Uzumaki was no closer to finding the real culprit behind the murder of Takashi Takano and the theft of Symbol, crimes for which he himself had been framed. At one point, he considered just giving up—why try so hard for a _human_?

But in the end, he just couldn't let the old man down. Not when he'd been the first person willing to stick his neck out for him.

So here he was, at the apartment of the same officer who'd tried to detain him. He was supposed to guard the painting—maybe _he_ knew something!

"What's this? You haven't run away yet?"

The blonde bit back a scathing retort at the man's insinuation to ask a question of his own. "Tell me again about that night—" _Wait! The smell on this guy…_ "Hey, mister…could you let me have some of your udon?" He sheepishly scratched the back of his head, embarrassed by his sudden stab of hunger. Hey, all this gumshoe stuff was famishing work!

The officer started. "How'd you know I was eating udon?"

Wasn't it obvious? His nose knew! Reluctantly, the officer let the young tod into his home, showing enough hospitality to serve him some of the thick noodle soup. Once sated, Naruto got back to business. "So, did you see anything suspicious that night?"

"No, I didn't see anything."

_Is that right?_ "Were you _really_ watching that painting like you were supposed to? Or maybe _you're_ the killer…"

"Don't be silly," the man scoffed from the kitchen as he poured some tea. "I only entered to use the bathroom, and I never touched the painting."

"Hmm-hmm. Hmm-hmm. Then…why do you smell so much _like_ that painting?" Who could forget that overpowering stench, and especially when this guy reeked of it?

Hearing quick footsteps from his right, Naruto turned only to see the murine officer bearing down on him, knife in hand. The young vulpine quickly moved, narrowly avoiding a fatal stab before dodging another stab that pierced the couch.

Alright. Time to get serious. Taking out a scroll, he placed it between his jaws while making the hand seals. "Demon Fox Transformation!" His tails swished before they constricted the dirty cop, forcing him to drop the cutlery-turned-weapon right into Naruto's waiting paw. Only then did he notice the blood on the blade, then the stinging and the warm wetness trailing beneath his left eye.

"Alright, mister," the boy hissed, bringing the now-shivering cop closer until they were nose to nose. "I got your knife now, and I know you don't have your gun on you. So unless you want me to ruin your little mug like you did mine, you better start talking. Where is 'Symbol'?"

The man's face twisted into a snarl. "TO HELL WITH YOU, YOU _MONSTER_!" he shrieked in a rain of spittle. His storm clouds, however, dissipated when Naruto raised the knife to his face, making as if to carry out his threat.

"AHH! Alright! I'll talk! I'll talk! It's with Sergeant Matsushima!" The rest was lost in a gibberish of maudlin sobs, screechy whimpers, and a foul stench of urinary and bowel release as Naruto put down the knife, but that didn't matter to the young fox.

He had the answers he sought, a way to clear his name, get justice for Takashi-san, and earn Kuroda's trust.

_That_ was what mattered.

-:-

Not much to say for this one, except that I enjoyed making Kyūso squirm (and soil himself). That's for Takashi, you rat bastard!

Naruto pilot chapter © Masashi Kishimoto  
Gōri Kyūso (name), this story © me


	11. iii Making History

iii. Making History

Song: "Memories" — Resident Evil: the Darkside Chronicles soundtrack

-:-

Once upon a time, in the Land of Mugwort and Goosefoot, there lived a man named Shiddatta Shaka*.

Shiddatta was a humble man. Not humble in origin, for he was the chieftain of the Shaka clan of the Land of Hōrai; he was humble in the sense that despite his lofty position, he remained an earthy man, approachable to anyone, regardless of race or caste. And approach they did, for Shiddatta was a studious man renowned for the wisdom and compassion he gained from his wanderings around the Land of Mugwort and Goosefoot, both of which earned him the title of "Buddha". The Enlightened One.

That very enlightenment was why people from miles around would turn to Shiddatta when the Jubokko blighted the land. From what the people had told him, the Jubokko was a tree that had been borne of the blood of wars past. Perhaps in karmic remembrance of its sanguinary origins, the tree possessed its own bloodthirst and lust, which it regularly quenched and sated by snagging and devouring within its branches any hapless being who approached it.

The people had tried everything at their disposal to rid themselves of the arboreal abomination, but to no avail. Swords and axes would shatter against its mighty bole; bullets and arrows would simply bounce off. Not even the elements themselves could end it.

For days and days, Shiddatta pondered what to do, and came to this conclusion: the Jubokko's bloodlust could not be satisfied by unwilling victims and it could not be felled. Perhaps if the victim was willingly so…

But who would willingly sacrifice themselves to the Jubokko? No one had come forward thus far, and if someone forced them to do so, that would just make for another unwilling victim, render their sacrifice for naught.

Shiddatta knew what he had to do.

As he had on his previous journeys, he gathered up his bejeweled begging bowl, bade farewell to his beloved wife Yashodara and to their beloved son Ragora before setting off on his final journey.

After days upon days of wandering, he finally found it: a tree as sanguinary red as the blood it thirsted for. Gamboling around the tree was a skulk of foxes, all donning or carrying bones that rattled as they danced, a macabre accompaniment to the hymning of their vulpine gekkers.

It wasn't long before the ghoulish creatures scented the interloper in their midst, their gaping maws bearing glinting sharp fangs as they raged against the sacrilege. But their holy anger was calmed when Shiddatta held up his hand in a placatory gesture. "I come not to fell this tree," he told them, "but to feed it…for the last time."

Seemingly intrigued, the foxes stepped aside, to which Shiddatta nodded his gratitude. Once at the base of the tree, he said this simple prayer: "Jubokko, take this life I give to you, and be sated."

And so did the Jubokko answer the Buddha's prayer, devouring him as it had countless others and devouring no more.

Of course, nothing was as simple as happily ever after, as was so proven by Shiddatta's son Ragora, who was filial to a fault, and the Ōtsutsuki, the dendrolatrous clan that he begat.

But it can never be disputed that the Buddha, Shiddatta Shaka…

…had truly made history.

-:-

Thus is answered the mystery of who this Buddha was that left behind a certain Begging Bowl. Of course, this brings me to this question: could Harafu be the "son" of the Jubokko/God Tree and Shiddatta? Or could he be the "reincarnation" of Shiddatta? Or perhaps both…?

Hmm…

***Shiddatta Shaka:** "Shiddatta" [悉達多] is a transliteration of Siddartha, Sanskrit for "He Who Achieves his Aims" and the historical Buddha's given name.

"Shaka" [釋迦] is a transliteration of Siddartha's clan name Śākya, which means "Capable".

I'd say both names are perfectly fitting for what would come, eh?

The Shinju/God Tree, the Ōtsutsuki © Masashi Kishimoto  
The Jubokko [= proto-Shinju/God Tree], the Shaka [= proto-Ōtsutsuki], Shiddatta, Yashodara, and Ragora Shaka, this story © me


End file.
